Self Acceptance

It's ironic that our new memory that we have to write about is about a moment that has taught us a lot about ourselves.  Me previous post would have been efficient, but just yesterday I ran into another experience that I learned a lot about myself less than 24 hours ago. 

Yesterday was the wrestle offs for the starting spot of the wrestling team.  My starting spot.  I started the season with a 5-2 record with what my coach says should easily be 7-0.  I had to put my spot up against Jordan Douglas.  The other senior 138 pounder that wants the starting spot as well.  Needless to say, I lost.  The minute I lost I shook his hand and walked out of the room.  I went into the locker room and just sat there with my elbows on my knees thinking how this just happened.  I've worked harder, tried harder, and wanted it more than him.  I've done better in matches, in practice, but in the wrestleoff I lost.  I hated myself in the beginning.  I hated everything.  I wanted to quit and just leave.  I sat there and cried.  I couldn't believe I just lost my starting spot.  I've started  every year since sophomore year and just blew it.  I sat there for the whole entire practice.  I missed everything that day.  2 people came into the locker room while I was there. 

Coach Morosetti just told me it happened.  It sucked.  And that all I can do is improve to get better and want it more.  Coach Johnson told me the same pretty much.  I know they want the best from me.  I know that they want me in the line up.  Coach Johnson gave me the day off as he knew I couldn't go up in that room today.  I showered up and got ready to leave. 

At that time, Dan Bruni and Kenny Scott came into the locker room.  They gave me the best advice out of everyone.  They told me about their high school experiences and losing wrestleoffs as well.  It does suck but it helped me in the end.  It got me thinking again.  In the end it showed me that I wasn't mentally ready.  I have a ton going through my mind and wrestling wasn't number one.  College, and school are coming up in the top of my lists where wrestling needs to be number one for me to be my best.  I know next time I'm going to be learning from my experiences and get my spot back.