Life is becomming more and more boring. It seems like I'm living the same day over and over again. Wake up, school, wrestling practice, home, sleep. Every day for 5 days a week. Its beyond tiring. There seems to be no excitement anymore. Christmas is soon and the only thing I can think of is going to a wrestling tournament two days later. My mind is locked on making weight. I've started to give less regards to school like every year, ignore what my family needs, and generally forget about the others around me. I need things to change before I practically become a zombie on a timer. This weekend would be a big help. Just hanging with a few friends I haven't seen in a while would be enough. I just can't sit at home and sleep and recover like every weekend. I'll take the soreness for an elongated time in order just to get out of this rut.
Hopefully this break will help me out. I'll try to catch up with a few friends coming home from college before I'm off to Brockway to wrestle for another 2 days. That is something I'm worrying about. I really don't want to go to Brockway on a losing streak. I just wrestled like shit this Wednesday and have to wrestle Canon MacMillan soon. That match is going to be hard. A win is definitely against the odds but I have to keep my head up and do my best I guess. I'm hoping for a win or at least a well wrestled match. I need something to pick up my motivation for the rest of the season.
That is one thing I worry about. Losing my interest in wreslting prematurely. If I do well, I'll stay interested and always be motivated to go to practice and work harder. If I do poorly though, I don't want to show my face. I feel embarrassed and want to hide, but I have to show up to school the next day with a loss still on my shoulders. I'm 5-2 right now and I don't want my record to drop below .500 at all this year. The schedule we have will make it kinda tough though. My goal is 20 wins by the end of the year. I'd prefer to have even more, but 20 is the goal. That would make my senior year I think. At least for sports. I screwed up during cross country getting an underage and not having the opportunity to run at tri states and prove myself, so this is my second chance. This is why I take losses so hard. They are just a step back in my development as one of the best wrestlers in the section and hopefully WPIAL. I have until February to hit my goal, but if I don't... It'll just be more disappointment on myself.
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