Alright, blog 2. This is sunday morning.
Well I was the first awake because it's nearly impossible for me to sleep past 8 am. I don't know why, I guess I always had this feeling I would miss so much if i slept too long. As a teen it is so redundant because I'm like the only kid awake for 3 hours until anyone is willing to do anything. But back to the story. I received a call from Jake. He woke up and needed let in the dorm building. I had to wake up Harbo to get him and looking at Jake was honestly the most entertaining thing ever. He was sitting on a park bench in the freezing cold wearing shorts and a hoodie. He looked quite miserable. But I found it entertaining. He came in and we hung out until around 4pm. We ate Chinese, played NHL, and watched TV. We did pretty much anything we could in order to pass time until Jake was ready to drive. We finally got on the road in and was headed back to good ole Pennsylvania. My favorite state as of now. Ohio sucks. The quote of the night was "Ohio is flat and stupid." I agree fully. People cannot drive, or take your order at a restaurant, and the roads are straight and flat. There is no excitement to the roads in Ohio. We got home around 530-6ish and this is where the pain started.
Eryne and I were in a rough spot. I won't get into a lot of details, but I was thinking I was going to break up with her. I felt like I wasn't mature enough to withstand a very long relationship and I didn't think it was fair to put her through pain if all I did was doubt. She wanted to see me and talk and I agreed. She picked me up at 630 and we drove about 50 feet and we stopped at a stop sign. She was already crying. I knew this was the hardest decision I ever made. We talked, and cried together, and had to drive to a new location. We talked for 2 hours and cried the whole time. I couldn't believe what I was doing. In the end, it was over, and I was bawling my eyes out. At that moment I realized I made a mistake. I came home and explained everything to my mom. Her words made me think a lot. She told me I was much more mature than I make myself out to be. From that moment I realized I had to pray life had a rewind button. I confided to a few friends who came to me. They helped me make the decision I was going to next. I realized I had made a mistake after 3 hours of being single. I thought how I would never experience all the great things about our relationship if she was never with me. I realized I focused on the negatives way too much and didn't see all the great things. I think the time of being single was a good thing though. It opened my eyes to how much she means to me. It made me realize that I need her and in the end, I think it was a good decision for the positives things have been now.
I eventually was able to sleep but had the worst dream of my life. It was my 35th birthday and I was alone. I was sitting in my living room by myself looking at all the pictures I took with Eryne. I was crying and hating every minute of my life. I guess I never moved on after all those years. I ended up calling her to see how she had been. It turned out all her dreams came true and she was happy with her husband and kids. I woke up in a cold sweat and tears. I knew I had to fix what I did. That was the end of my night. In my next blog I'll go over what happened next on Monday. Until then stay wonderful everyone. You guys are great. I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment