The Quiet Thoughts of the Loud Mouth Kid

As most of you should know by now, I am quite the outspoken kid.  I'm never afraid to strike a conversation with anyone and will always speak my mind.  I try to be a friend with anyone, but that doesn't always work.  A I have some of the best friends imaginable, I also have some enemies in my life I just don't feel the need to.  But there are things in this messed up head of mine I keep to myself.  They aren't like major secrets, but they're just things I ignore the speak about to people because I guess I just don't feel close enough with the ones around me.  I guess I'll just vent a little.

The first little thing on my mind has to be college at the moment.  I am attending the University of Alabama and am scared to death for it.  I'm just as excited as scared though.  This is a whole new world and adventure for me that I keep telling myself I am ready for, but I'm not.  I'm not ready for high school to end yet.  Truthfully, I love every bit about it.  I've spent 4 years trying to be considered a good person and respected by the whole school. At this point in time, I believe I accomplished my mission.  I feel like at high school, I am a name known by many.  Someone who people like to be around a person that people know they can turn to.  In college I'm back to a no body.  I will know two people.  Two people who I love very dearly and consider them siblings.  That however just seems not enough yet.  I love my status in high school.  I'm not the president, captain of anything, or even the best athlete here, but I am known by most and liked.  That is all I need.  I fear the rebuilding process.  I fear that I won't be as liked there as I am here.  In the end I'm just going to have to face this fear, take it head on, be me, and hope for the best.  I know I can do it, but I'm just afraid of the worst.

The next thing I have on my mind is the friendships I have made.  Currently, my best friends are all off at college.  They're a group of kids I know will be in my life forever.  But in high school, I belong to no specific group.  I don't do something every weekend because of this.  I sometimes wish I would've have worked on joining a group earlier, but I know i just think this because no one is home.  I do have some close friends here though.  They make this year a lot easier on me and feel much more accepted.  I just wish I was someone that always entered their mind when they were doing something.  Nothing i can do about that though.  There is a certain group of people I wish they would reach out to me though.  They are people I respect more than anyone in the school and would love to become closer to them by the end of this year.  Ill just state their names and hope they read this and consider me.  Tommy, Dave, Jared, Ty, Ethan, and the others they are out and about with.  They are the people I feel like will be close friends after high school and college and everything.  They're the type of friendship I have with all my older friends.  I miss that type of friendship

This is really all i feel like venting tonight.  I really feel like blogging is going to become a major part in my life again.  I hope that I can get a decent amount to read a relate.  Not to take anything away from Tom.  The Daily Doze is a blog all of you should read.  It's one of the better things I've read in my life.  Thank you for reading this if you've gotten this far.  It means a lot